Eninam’s Journey: From Togo to New York
My friend and former teammate Eninam, who is a software engineer at my company, chatted with me about her experience moving from Togo to the U.S. The conversation below has been edited for clarity and flow.
So, tell me a bit about yourself.
Well, I am originally from a small country in West Africa called Togo. It’s near the coast, right next to Ghana, and it’s a French speaking country. I moved to the U.S. when I was 12 to join my mom.
Oh, I see. So your mom moved here when you were a little and then you came to reunite with her?
My mom came in 2005 via the lottery. She got lucky and was granted a visa. She was able to move but she couldn’t bring me. So from 5 to 12 I lived with my uncle and his wife in Togo.
I was 13 when I came, around the same age as you. What was it like moving to the U.S. at 12?
I was excited to reunite with my mom, but also really nervous because I didn't speak the language and it was a new country. So I was feeling excited for new experiences, but also very nervous to land in a place I’ve never been before.
I can understand that. Was there a memorable experience or a fond memory when you first came that you can recall?
I remember driving from the airport to our house and looking out the window. We had a picture of the United States, of New York specifically. So that was what I thought the U.S. looked like, but it looked so different. There was much more greenery, more trees. I was so surprised. (laughs)
The U.S. is huge, everywhere looks different! Do you have a lot of family left in Togo?
Yeah, I went back for the first time in junior year of college, so nine years since I moved. It was really fun. My mom is one of seven. So we have a lot of aunts, uncles and cousins there. It was very nice being with them and reconnecting because it had been nine years. Also the food was great. It was fun going back and seeing everyone. I really liked visiting, but I don't think I can live there anymore.
I know you moved to reunite with your mom in Georgia. What is Georgia like to live as an immigrant? Is there a big community of West African immigrants?
We found a community, but it's pretty small. I would say there are many more people from other West African countries than my country. But we've met people over the years. The community is pretty tight and pretty small, so everyone knows everyone else. We lived in the suburbs, but it was also immigrant heavy. People from South America and West Africa were the main population. So I will say yes, we were able to find a community there. But it's definitely not the same.
Got it. How did you find the community?
Through church. My mom came, and her friend from college also came before her. She was able to introduce us to a friend and then through her we met friends of their friends. So it was a little easier because we already had someone here before my mom came.
That sounds really great. I'm also interested in hearing about people's journey, both in career and in life. I know you went to school in Boston. So you left Georgia, what led you to that decision? And then what led you to decide on software engineering and New York?
The journey to Boston was really random. I applied to Northeastern because I had nothing to lose, and I got accepted. And then I decided to move to New York because I wanted to be in a city. Where I lived in Georgia is much more suburban and there isn't much to do. I wanted to explore, try new things, live somewhere new. And it was exciting to just start over. For computer science, I took one class in senior year of high school, then I liked it enough and was good at it. So I decided why not give it a try?
Okay, that's really awesome to hear. Working in tech, we are both aware of the perennial discourse around diversity. There are certain groups that are underrepresented, such as women and minorities. What is it like being a Black engineer?
I got lucky with the company. I feel like it’s because my first team was so diverse, like I had you on the team. I really felt that I belonged there, and I felt comfortable asking questions when I didn’t know something. I think it was helpful to have a team where I wasn't the only minority. But college was very different because it was a PWI and I was one of the few Black girls in computer science. The imposter syndrome was much more present there. I took one computer science class in high school, but that was it. The gap was very, very, clear.
So you spent the first 12 years of your life in Togo, then the rest in the U.S. What do you think about your identity? Do you feel any conflicting aspects of your identity?
It’s interesting because when I went back to Togo, it was very obvious that I didn’t truly belong there. I feel more African here because, well, the concept of my Blackness became a thing when I came to the U.S. In Togo, everyone was black. But here I think I needed to truly define who I was. And of course, there are cultural differences even between my mom and me. How we think is very different. But if anyone in the U.S. asks me where I'm from, I definitely will say I’m from West Africa.
I would love to hear more about your relationship with your mom. How would you say your relationship with your mom is like now?
I came from a very strict household. To me the decision to move was a really big deal. My decision to come to New York where I didn't know anyone was like, why would you go? And even with traveling, it's just like, you don't know anymore, why are you going to these countries? I think it’s because I'm also an only child, so it definitely brings a lot of pressure. My mom had an idea of who I would l be, but I'm not that person anymore. As I grow and become more independent, I think she’s much more willing to give space. I also think it will take years for her to completely change.
That makes sense. I'm curious, who do you consider to be your greatest influence in life?
I have two influences. The first is my mom, because I think she really has a strong work ethic. She decided to come here alone and try new things and be in a completely new environment. I think I got that from her.
The other influence is my cousin. She's a couple years older than me. She left Georgia to go to college. I think it was easier for me to decide to move because I thought if she did it, then I can definitely do it. I definitely looked up to her as a guide a little bit. I feel like if she wasn't there, it would have been harder to find my own path.
That’s really sweet to hear about your mom and your cousin. To wrap up this conversation, what do you think is the biggest learning lesson for you about the experience of moving to a new country at 12?
I will say it's very easy for me to adapt to new situations. Learning how to adapt is really important. Moving countries is the biggest change but also as you grow, you need to change and adapt. That was a big lesson for me, and also knowing how to have your own identity and learning how to communicate and be around people you weren't familiar with before.
Originally from Togo, Eninam moved to Georgia at the age of 12 and currently resides in New York. Eninam works as a software engineer.